Devoir: Good Morning, Papers!

i cant believe how tired i am still.  Its as if the few hours of rest i got at night didn't pay off.  I always sinfully nap on the train to and fro school to find that i have missed a stop or two, or wakey between stations trying to figure out where i was and if it was time to alight.  

today, lefty aches.  the sore hurt a little and made left nosty run.  i can't believe it.  even with sleep its like that.  i can go on and on doing work but my eyes.  i don't even wear contacts anymore.  

anyway, cikgu bedah helped keep my papers , so THANkew cikgu!  i didn't think she'd help coz she's so busy with her assessment and all. I took a look at them and at the same time dried them on the small rack.  They don't look that bad wad... hehe.  

Left my blappy here for cikgu to use.  it takes forever to wait for the net to load.  therefore i was unable to send Mada2 my resume for a post as intern at STPI.  STPI!!! a few weeks also good... just tell THEM i am at school lor...

Anyways, i left in a rush last night.  Left school effectively at about 11.55 pm after blending another batch of papers of better quality.  My paper pulp...hehehe... they look like PUKE!  hehehe.  but I LIKE!!! Gonna call them my abject papers.  

Left HELL with dead dried flowers from Adam, as well as a bag full of hair i cut a few days back.  Because i am gonna make ABJECT PAPERS!!! YEAH MAN!!! 

you see, abject* is the state of being cast off. the papers already look like vomit,representing expulsion and the hair i cut represents a sense of release from the stress n anger my environment has caused as well as my trichotillomania. adam's flowers are also a representation of a break and release. and with these waste i gather n preserve the experiences as a whole.

The papers have been pressed and i'm gonna release them nowwww!!! YEAH 

*THE ABJECT, abjection (Kristeva): Our reaction (horror, vomit) to a threatened breakdown in meaning caused by the loss of the distinction between subject and object or between self and other. The primary example is the corpse (which traumatically reminds us of our own materiality); however, other items can elicit the same reaction: the open wound, shit, sewage, even a particularly immoral crime (e.g. Auschwitz). Kristeva posits that abjection is something that we must experience in our psychosexual development before entering into the mirror stage, that is, the establishment of such boundaries as self and other or human and animal. See the Kristeva module on the abject.Kristeva also associates the abject with the maternal since the establishment of the boundary between self and other marks our movement out of the chora.

http://www.cla.purdue.edu/English/theory/psychoanalysis/definitions/abject.html

*Julia Kristeva’s famous essay Powers of Horror conceptualises the abject as that which “disturbs identity, system, order. What does not respect borders, positions, rules. The in-between, the ambiguous” (4).

http://journal.media-culture.org.au/0610/04-muller.php